


Slowly Sinking (Keep Me Afloat)

by ich_bin_ein_stern



Series: Post-CACW Ironpanther [2]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), captain america: civil war - Fandom
Genre: Fuck General Ross, Happy & Tony are okay, M/M, Natasha Romanov Is a Good Bro, Pepper & Tony are okay, Rhodey & Tony are okay, T'Challa is a Good Boyfriend, Tony Stark Deserves To Be Spoiled, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-28
Updated: 2016-06-28
Packaged: 2018-07-18 18:01:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,486
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7325074
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ich_bin_ein_stern/pseuds/ich_bin_ein_stern
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>With General Ross looming over his shoulder, protecting Natasha from Government officials, worrying about Pepper, Rhodey, and Happy, and trying to maintain his fragile relationship with T'Challa; Tony is slowly, but surely, drowning. </p>
<p>Only, his friends and lover refuse to let him sink.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Slowly Sinking (Keep Me Afloat)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [krusca](https://archiveofourown.org/users/krusca/gifts).



> *The beginning of this story takes place a year and two months after the fight in Siberia.  
> *T'Challa and Tony have been together for roughly four months.

_Make sure you thoroughly read through that packet, Stark._

Tony twitched.

_Tony, you need to take a break._

Groaning, Tony rolled over.

_Hey, man, when's the last time you slept?_

Tony jerked in his sleep.

_My love, please come to bed. Please._

Tony twists and rolls and grips the sheets of his bed.

_Tony, please._

_Tony, get some sleep._

_Tony, please eat._

_Stark, are you paying attention?_

_Tony._

_Stark!_

_Tony!_

**_TONY!_ **

Jerking upright, Tony sucks in deep breaths. He can feel the sweat on his body cool with the low temperature in his room. Twisting his body to the side, he sees T'Challa sitting up too. One hand partly reaching out, but looking unsure if he should touch him. Ripping the sheets off him, Tony stumbles to his feet and runs for the bathroom.

He barely gets the toilet lid up before vomiting last night's takeout. A gentle, cool hand rests lightly on the back of his neck rubbing slow soothing circles.

"I'm here," T'Challa whispers. "I'm not going anywhere."

Tony whimpers when he feels the bile coming up again. He swallows a couple of times.

"No, Tony. Don't hold it in. It's okay."

They spend what seems like hours in the bathroom before Tony finally has the energy to pull away from the toilet. He can sort of hear T'Challa get up from behind him (the ringing in his ears giving him a headache), briefly hear the sink water run, and then feels a wet towel pat his face and the wipe at his mouth.

"I'm sorry," Tony croaks. "I di-didn't mean to w-wake you."

"Shh, you did not wake me."

Tony released a breath he didn't realize he was holding and sagged against T'Challa's unwavering form.

"What time are you leaving later?" Tony asks quietly. "It's gotta' be, like, almost 4 in the morning."

"It's currently 3:26am, Boss," FRIDAY states, volume low.

Tony appreciates that.

"Seven o'clock in the evening. Though, I am reluctant to leave you."

Tony sighed. "I don't want you to leave, but you have a duty as king to your country. I understand."

T'Challa merely shakes his head and helps Tony up. With a hand on the small of Tony's back, he guides his lover to the sink to rinse out his mouth and walk him out of the bathroom but not before discarding the towel in the hamper and turning off the light followed by closing the door. When they settle back in bed, Tony turns curls against T'Challa's chest. His head hurts, his body aches, and he still feels sick to his stomach.

T'Challa runs his fingers through Tony's thick wavy hair, kissing his forehead softly every time they get caught in a knot. Tony only nuzzles his face against T'Challa's collarbone. 

"I'll be fine on my own," Tony whispers. "I've got Rhodey and Pepper and Vision and FRIDAY. I'll be okay."

T'Challa merely hums. Pulling Tony closer, he rests his head on of his lover's own and closes his eyes.

"Go to sleep, Tony. I'll be here when you wake up."

He barely feels Tony nod his head.

Just as sleep was about to take over, he hears the quiet, "Thank you."

Pressing a kiss into Tony's thick hair, he smiles.

They both rest a little easier.

Tony doesn't wake up until well into the afternoon. 

"FRIDAY?" Tony croaks out. His throat is dry and his head hurts.

"Good afternoon, Boss. It's currently 1:37PM on March 12th, 2017. The temperature outside is 78 degrees. Do you require anything?"

Before Tony can reply, the bed sheets shift slightly and a deeper voice speaks up, "Please start the coffee maker, FRIDAY."

"Of course, Your Highness."

Groaning, Tony attempts to roll over, but can't. He's being held close to T'Challa's chest.

"Let me go," Tony whines. 

He does a little shake, but still can't move.

"Can I give you a kiss first?" T'Challa asks.

Moving his head just enough, Tony looks up into T'Challa's eyes. They're a beautiful dark brown, almost golden in the light. Nodding his head, he feels T'Challa's hand cup the back of his neck gently and pulls him upwards a bit to kiss him on the mouth. Shifting a little bit, the kiss deepens some. Breaking the kiss, Tony turns his head away to breath.

"I want to brush my teeth and drink coffee. In that order," Tony mumbles.

"Does that not defeat the purse of brushing your teeth?" T'Challa asks amused.

Pulling away now that the arms around him are loose, Tony sits up. "I'm not letting you kiss me again while I still have morning breath." 

Amused, T'Challa turns away and gets up from the bed. Tony leans back and admires T'Challa's strong shoulders, trimmed waist, the curve of his boxer covered ass, and the muscles on his legs. They hadn't gone beyond great handjobs, the occasional blowjob, and heavy petting. Tony has expressed his discomfort for going beyond just that. He just...wasn't ready yet.  

T'Challa just smiles and says he understands, that he won't pressure Tony into anything he doesn't want to do. Tony just might be a little in love with him. 

Looking away, Tony throws the bed sheets off him and stands up. With a little smile towards T'Challa, he walks into the bathroom to take care of business and brush his teeth. Not long after, T'Challa does the same. 

Standing in front of the mirror, Tony leans forward and rubs a hand over his lower face. Sighing, he opens up the top drawer of the sink and pulls out his old-fashioned razor and shaving cream.

"I'll be a few minutes if you wanna' head downstairs for coffee," Tony says even though he doesn't look at T'Challa.

He smiles a little when T'Challa presses a gentle kiss to his temple.

"I'm going to get dress," he says as a reply.

"Layout something for me, would ya'?" Tony calls over his shoulder.

Halfway into shaving, Tony feels a presence behind him. Looking through the mirror, he sees T'Challa standing behind him. Shaking his head with a little smile on his face, Tony wipes off the shaving cream to replace it.

"I'll be done soon," Tony says.

"Turn around?" T'Challa asks.

Tony turns around slowly. Without breaking eye contact, T'Challa reaches behind him and grabs the brush with shaving cream on it and brushes over the other side of Tony's lower face. He puts it back and grabs the razor.

"Be still," T'Challa whispers.

Tony doesn't move, barely breathes, as T'Challa drags the razor gently across his lower face, taking care to not nick him along the way. It's intimate. Tony likes it, likes that he can trust T'Challa like this. They stand there, very close until T'Challa finally pulls back and grabs the towel next to the shaving kit and wipes away the cream to reveal a perfectly groomed beard.

With kind eyes, T'Challa steps back. Tony turns around and eyes himself in the mirror.

"Thank you," he says as he grabs the aftershave balm and applies a generous amount.

Once done and after he puts everything away, he turns back around and eyes T'Challa up and down letting out a low whistle. Dark blue jeans and a tight black v-neck t-shirt. He's barefooted. Tony likes it. A lot.

"You clean up real nice, baby."

T'Challa smirks. Tony takes two steps forward and wraps his arms around T'Challa neck.

"Can I have a kiss?"

T'Challa wraps his arms around Tony's waist and smiles down at him. 

"Of course, my love." 

When their lips meet, Tony swears he feels fireworks go off behind his eyelids. T'Challa backs him up to the sink and then _picks him up_ and places him on the sink edge. Tony makes a little noise in the back of his throat but doesn't break the kiss. When he feels T'Challa's tongue swipe along the seam of his lips, he opens up. T'Challa explores the inside of his mouth, tasting the mint toothpaste and something uniquely Tony. Pulling away, he peppers kisses along Tony's jawline and down to his neck.

With a moan, Tony tilts his head and lets his eyes flutter close. When T'Challa bites down just a bit, Tony jerks with a moan. 

"O-oh, can w-we," Tony tries to form a sentence but has a hard time making out words.

Tony feels hot and overwhelmed, but before things escalate beyond that T'Challa pulls back and kisses Tony once more of the mouth briefly.

"I'm going downstairs to make us something to eat." 

He gives Tony a little smile before leaving the bathroom. Tony sits there for a moment, forcing his heart to calm down, then hops off the sink. Walking into his room, he smiles when he sees the clothes T'Challa had waiting for him on their, _their_ , bed. A pair of worn gray jeans, an old Black Sabbath t-shirt, and Tony's favorite overhead gray and black striped hoodie (the one he had to steal back from Natasha after shit went down with Shield, she steals a lot of his clothes).

Throwing it on, Tony exits the bedroom only to be greeted by one of the Dora Milaje, Okoye, who bows her head.

"Did he ask you to wait for me?" Tony asks as he walks down the hallway knowing that Okoye is right behind him.

"His Highness did request that I walk with you," Tony can picture of the tiny smile on her face.

"My tower has one of the most advanced security programs in the world and he thinks I'll get hurt." Tony shakes his head.

"He merely wishes to keep you safe," comes the reply.

Tony doesn't reply. He doesn't have too.

As they approach the kitchen, he sees the other two members of the Dora Milaje, Nareema, and Teela, standing outside of it. 

"You can come in," Tony says as he walks past them. 

They never do, but he always offers.

"Thanks for escorting me!" he calls over his shoulder before taking in a big whiff of bacon and strong coffee.

His mouths waters. 

He sees his favorite mug, a yellow mug with a black cat on it, resting next to the coffee maker already filled with the hot stuff.

"Come to daddy," Tony mutters under his breath and grabs the cup not caring how hot it was.

He downs nearly the entire thing in one gulp. 

"Damn, that's good."

Adding more, he walks over to T'Challa and wraps an arm around his waist. 

"We're very domestic," Tony says as T'Challa flips a piece of bacon.

T'Challa turns and presses a kiss against his temple.

"Are you complaining?" 

Smiling, Tony takes a sip of his coffee.

"Nope."

The ride to the airport is relatively silent and full of tension. Tony is driving with T'Challa riding shotgun and the Dora Milaje seated in the back. None of them make any comment on the arrangement after, a few months ago, Tony explained to all of them that he doesn't allow people to drive him anywhere. He doesn't like it. He doesn't appreciate it. He absolutely needs to be the one behind the wheel.

T'Challa keeps his hand rested on top of Tony's, occasionally rubbing his thumb over Tony's knuckles. 

"We're here," Tony says as he pulls up to the airport.

The sun was setting, the sky filled with oranges and purples and reds. It casts a nice background for T'Challa's private jet.

When his luggage is placed on the jet, T'Challa turns to Tony and pulls him into a hug and holds him tightly. All at once, the tension melts from Tony as he buries his face into T'Challa's neck and clings back. 

"I will miss you, Tony."

Tony releases a shaky breath. "I'll miss you, too."

Pulling back, Tony debates in his head before saying - "I love you."

T'Challa's eyes widen, just briefly, before a look of pure content and happiness takes over his face.

Pulling Tony close, he whispers, "I love you, too. More than you can possibly imagine. Can I kiss you?"

Tony can barely get out the "yes" before he's pulled into one of the most spectacular kisses he's ever had.

They break apart and smile at each other.

"Call me when you land, okay? No matter the time."

Pressing a kiss to Tony's forehead, T'Challa mumbles, "Of course, my love."

As T'Challa climbs the steps with the Dora Milaje behind him, Tony calls out, "Please, keep him safe."

As one, the three women turn towards Tony and bow their heads. 

"That is our duty. Rest assure that he will keep His Highness safe."

Tony steps back as the stairs are pulled back and the door closes. He can see T'Challa through one of the small windows looking directly at him. Tony raises a hand, gives a little wave, and blows a kiss. Making the symbol to "call" with his hands, he mouths "you better call." He can see T'Challa smile and nod, giving a small wave of his own. 

Tony stays by his car until the jet is in the air, he drives off after the jet is out of sight.

When he gets back to his tower, FRIDAY informs him of several emails sent by General Ross.

He knows he won't be getting any sleep for awhile. 

When T'Challa lands in Wakanda, he immediately calls Tony.

When the no one picks up, he waits a moment before trying again. 

When Tony doesn't pick up for the second time, he immediately connects with FRIDAY.

"My apologies, Your Highness. Boss is currently on the phone with General Ross."

"Please have him back me back when he is done with that man."

"Of course, Your Highness."

He doesn't hear from Tony that evening.

"I'm so sorry," Tony rushes out as soon as T'Challa picks up. "Ross has been hounding me from the moment I got back to the tower after dropping you off. Please, I wanted to pick up the phone."

It's been three days since Tony and T'Challa have spoken and that was at the airport.

"I wanted to call, but shit keeps popping up. Ross is up my ass about the UN, he's got people following Pepper and Rhodey. Every time I think I'm caught up on work, more just appears out of nowhere. On top of that, SI is about to launch the new Stark tablets and laptops, so there's an event for that. One that I need to go to. A couple of senators won't leave me the fuck alone and Vision is fucking sad. Do you understand? He's sad."

Tony stops and sucks in a deep breath. "Sorry. Enough about me. How are you? I'm sorry I didn't pick up your calls. I really, really wanted too."

"Tony, calm yourself. It's alright. I was just worried, that's all."

Tony sighs through the phone. 

He's currently sitting in his living room, alone, with the TV on mute. There's a newscast about some really bad weather in the southern states; freezing rain and 60-mile winds. There are stacks of paper spread out on the coffee table in front of them. Some from Pepper needing reviews and signatures, but most come from Ross and members of the UN, but mostly Ross. 

"When was the last time you slept?" T'Challa asks.

"Last night. 7 hours total. You can confirm with FRIDAY if you want too."

"I believe you," comes the immediate reply.

Leaning back against the couch, Tony yawns. 

"Are you tired? Perhaps, you should rest?"

"Honey, I'd love too. But I need to, at least, finish going through these papers for Pepper. She's...counting on me. Besides, I wanted to hear your voice."

The chuckle he hears brings a smile to his face.

"I miss you, Tony."

"I miss you. So much."

They spend the next 20 or so minutes talking before Tony finally (reluctantly) states that he needs to get back to work.

"I love you," Tony whispers into the phone.

"I love you, too, Tony."

They hang up at the same time.

Tony and T'Challa exchange calls a few times a week for next two-ish months. Most, if not all, center around the UN or Ross, but some of them (the lucky ones) are nice. They talk about anything and everything that's not related to politics, to the accords, to Rogers. Those are the calls Tony enjoy's the most.

When Natasha shows up in his living room one evening well into the summer as he's getting coffee, beaten and bleeding all over his couch, Tony almost has a heart attack.

"Holy shit," he says as he drops his mug and rushes forward to keep her from falling off the couch. "Fuck. What happened to you?"

With a grunt, Natasha allows Tony to push her back into a sitting position.

"FRIDAY, I want maximum security lockdown on this floor. And where is the First Aid kit?"

"Security lockdown complete, Boss. There is a First Aid kit in the kitchen under the sink."

"Don't move," Tony commands.

Natasha snorts. "As if I could at the moment, Tony."

Standing up, Tony backs away. "Right. Right. I'm going to grab the kit. Please, don't die."

Tony races to the kitchen, grabs the kit and forces Natasha to layout on his already ruined couch.

"Okay, I'm gonna' do this. Just...just talk to me."

"I was following up on a lead given to me by Fury," Natasha starts immediately. Tony snorts under his breath. "Looking for intel on one of Hydra's oldest living scientist, Kelvin Wolf. He still works for Hydra. He's the guy - shit - that created the bastardized version of Super Soldier serum for Barnes (Tony tries not to stiffen at the mention of Barnes.) and the guy who modified your father's version that was stolen."

Tony silently stitches up a gash on Natasha's stomach. He has questions. Questions he'll ask later. For now, he sticks to the basic and obvious ones.

"Hydra found out?"

"No. Ross did."

Tony pauses in his application of wrapping the gash. "How the fuck does Ross know you went looking for Hydra info?"

Natasha closes her eyes. "I don't know, but it's clear he has eyes everywhere."

"He sent someone after you?"

"Black ops," Natasha confirms. "Don't forget that I helped Steve and Barnes escape from the airport. I'm as wanted as they are."

"Idiot," Tony mutters.

Natasha makes no move to reply. Instead, she says, "He has a BOLO out for me. Bring me in, dead or alive."

"You're not safe with me then," Tony states. "I see Ross almost every other day. He stops by three or four times a week. The man fucking hounds me over every little thing. He's a bit prickly that I helped Rogers get the others out of the Raft."

Natasha turns her head towards Tony.

"I'm not safe anywhere, Tony. Never really was."

Tony sighs and leans back. The gash is stitched and covered to the best of his ability. The other scratches have small bandaids on them and some of the bruisings have already begun to heal.

"I know where you can be safe," Tony begins. "Just let me make a call while you rest here or something. If you're up to it, go take a shower and change into some comfy clothes. You know where my room is."

He gathers the bloody tissues and wipes and leaves the living room quickly. Tony heads directly for his lab.

"FRIDAY patch me through to T'Challa."

"On it, Boss."

Not even 10 seconds later, Tony hears the voice of his boyfriend.

"Tony? Is something wrong?"

"Hey, baby. I know it's early, well, early by my standards, but I have a favor to ask."

He hears the creak of a leather chair and T'Challa clear his throat.

"How can I be of service?"

"Do you remember Natasha Romanoff?"

"I do recall her. She confronted me after my...my father passed. She's also the one that stopped me from pursuing Captain Rogers and Mr. Barnes at the airport."

"The very one. Listen, she just showed up at my place not even 15 minutes ago, beaten and bleeding, because she's on the run from Ross. They have a BOLO out for her. Black ops ordered to bring her in, dead or alive. I was wondering - "

" - if I could provide a safe haven for her for an undetermined amount of time?"

Tony sighs quietly. "I'm sorry. I don't want you to think that I'd take advantage of you. I just...she's not safe right now. She's one of the few...friends I have and - "

"My love, it's alright. You do not have to justice a simple request. I will provide her sanctuary. I will email you with possible plans later."

Tony releases a breath he wasn't aware he was holding. 

"Thank you."

"For you, Tony. Call me later?"

"Absolutely."

"Goodbye, Tony. I love you."

"Bye. Love you, too!"

With a sigh, Tony orders FRIDAY to disconnect and heads back up the stairs. He's not surprised to see the living room empty but is surprised that the mess of his shattered coffee mug was cleaned up. He wipes down the couch the best he can, covers it with a blanket, and waits. Either Natasha left or she took him up on his offer to shower.

Tony waits half an hour before Natasha re-enters the living room. She's wearing a pair of his sweats (super baggy on her) and his favorite hoodie, the hood up and the ends of the sleeves clutched in her fists.

"That's my favorite hoodie," Tony states. "And you keep taking it. I also just realized that having you shower after cleaning your wounds was probably not that smart."

"It's my favorite too," she replies. "And I was careful enough to not let the spray touch anything besides my hair. I did a rag wash of everything else. I'll be fine."

"Good, good." Tony clears his throat. "I have a place for you to stay. Not here, in the tower, but somewhere else. Somewhere Ross can't find you and where you can work out of if need be."

Natasha takes a seat next to him with her legs drawn to her chest and her arms wrapped around them. "Where?"

"Wakanda. T'Challa says he'll give you sanctuary."

Turning towards Tony, Natasha raises an eyebrow.

"You're on a first-name basis with the King of Wakanda?"

"We've been...we've been talking for some time now." _Among other things..._

"Really? Talking?"

"Yes. Well - "

"You're sleeping with him."

Tony startles.

"Well, technically, yes. In the same bed. We haven't-haven't gone beyond some serious heavy petting."

Natasha hums. "How long have you been together? Officially."

"Almost four months."

"How did it happen?"

Tony turns to look at her, his eyes searching before sighing.

"Well, let me lead up to it with everything that happened after you 'went to find yourself.' After finding out that Barnes was innocent of the bombing of the UN meeting and King T'Chaka's death, I went to the Raft - did you know the others were put in the Raft? The fucking Raft, by Ross? - and confronted Sam about where Rogers and Barnes were headed too. Also, Clint wanted to talk shit, the ant guy tried to talk shit, and Wanda looked miserable. Anyways, after I left I went to Siberia to help Rogers and Barnes out and found out that Steve 'Hypocrite' Rogers kept secret the real way my parents died."

Tony stops and breathes. He can practically feel his blood pressure rise. 

"I got angry, Natasha. Ste - Rogers - kept that from me. After giving me a lecture about not keeping secrets, he keeps that from me. And you, for that matter."

"It wasn't my place to say."

Tony laughs. "Don't bullshit me, Natasha. You, or him, could have said something. There is no excuse. No 'there wasn't a good time' or 'not my place to say' or 'how can I tell you?' Two years. You've both known for two years and couldn't tell me anything."

Tony looks at Natasha, his face as blanks as hers. In a quieter voice, he says, "Maybe if I had known ahead of time, I wouldn't have reacted to badly in a very serious situation despite seeing the footage. We could have had to deal with four highly skilled super soldiers on top of me reacting badly. The only upside of the entire situation in Siberia was Zemo taking care of the other super soldiers."

He doesn't react when Natasha scoots closer and rests her head on his shoulder. "I'm so sorry, Tony."

Tony shrugs slightly. "Anyways, I attacked Barnes and Rogers defended him and then it was me against both of them and then Rogers was trying to help Barnes escape and I didn't let it happen and then Rogers got mad and I got even madder and then attacked Rogers and Barnes attacked me by trying to rip out the reactor from the suit and so I blasted his fake arm off and then I went one-on-one with Rogers and then he stabbed my reactor with his shield after beating me down." Tony breathes.

"I asked him to leave behind his shield," Tony whispers. "Right now, I don't think he deserves it. Maybe again, one day, but not for awhile. I know it hurts him, but really, I wanted him to hurt in that moment. I want him to hurt for awhile. I have it, by the way. The shield, I mean. Have it locked up in my workshop. All this aside, T'Challa stayed with me until Vision was able to retrieve me from Siberia. Give Rogers and Barnes and the others sanctuary because I asked him. A few weeks later, he offered me aid in any way he could. He paid for the damage done at the airport. I didn't even know until a few days later."

Tony breathes.

"And then we just started talking. We talked for months, Natasha. He was worried for my safety. He listened to me rant. I flirted with him and he flirted right back. I decided to up and take a holiday in Italy and he shows up not long after. He bought me things, Natasha. He spoiled me. He made _me_ dinner. He made the first move."

Tony smiles. "My own fairytale, really."

"I'm glad you have him."

"Him, Rhodey, Pepper, Vision, FRIDAY, and...you, I hope."

Natasha raises her head. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry I didn't tell you about your parents. I'm sorry I snapped at you. I'm sorry I left you by yourself to deal with it all."

"I'm still mad at you," Tony says after a moment of silence. "To keep something like that from me. To claim I can't let go of my ego only to point out how pushy Ross is right after. For leaving me to take care of the fallout. I needed you. Rhodey was hurt. Vision was compromised. And Pepper and I weren't speaking much at the time. Call me selfish, but I really didn't want to deal with the fallout on my own."

"I...," Natasha licks her lips. "I don't know what I can do to make it better if anything now, but - "

"There's nothing to do right now. It would be stupid to have you try and talk to Ross anytime soon."

It's silent for a few minutes and then - "If you want to help me then stay low. Don't get involved in anything between Ross and I. Once you enter Wakanda, it will be very hard for you to leave whenever you want. You should only be leaving if it's necessary."

"I can slip in and out of places undetected, Tony."

"The Dora Milaje won't just let you enter or leave when you want. They're like you, only 10 times more deadly. Don't be offended, but I've seen what they can do and I know their history." 

_What history I've been privy to, at least..._

"I...understand. The Dora Milaje have been known to wipe out previous Black Widow before. They are highly skilled." Leaning back, she continues. "They have my respect."

"They're great."

Silence.

"Well, this is awkward. Are you hungry?"

At Natasha's nod, Tony gets up. "I'll make you something to eat. Something quick."

"Toast? I don't think I can handle anything else at the moment."

"Right. Toast. Give me a few minutes."

When Tony walks back into the living room roughly seven minutes later, Natasha is spread out on the couch with her eyes closed. Something in his gut tells him that she isn't faking it. Shrugging his shoulders, he places the toast down on the coffee table and walks over the living room closet and pulls out another blanket. 

Draping it over her as gently as possible, Tony hums.

"Good night."

Surprisingly, getting Natasha out of the country was easy. 

Tony created her false identity, Nicole Roman, and T'Challa sent his private jet to pick her up.

Her disguise, Tony rolls his eyes under his sunglasses, was jeans, sunglasses, and his flippin' favorite hoodie.

"I'll give it back to you eventually," she says with a secret smile.

"Sure, sure."

He drives her to the airport, they speak about the Raft and what was said and then he hugs her just before she starts walking up the steps to get into the jet.

"I'll be seeing you," he calls after her. "Don't cause them too much trouble."

"The only trouble I'll be causing is kicking Clint's ass for what he said to you. His wife is on your side, by the way."

Tony smiles a little.

"Bye, Tony. Keep in contact?"

At Tony's nod, she enters the jet.

Unlike when he dropped T'Challa off, Tony didn't stay after the jet starts moving.

She's safe for now.

The first real attack the remaining Avengers (only him and Vision for now) dealt with since the team split took place in New York; specifically at Stark Industries HQ. Even more specific is that the attack starts in Pepper's office while Pepper was in it.

"I'm so sorry," Tony says while shielding Pepper from rapid gunfire with the Iron Man suit. She had already been hit in the arm and is currently covering the wound with her hand. "I'm sorry that you keep getting hurt because of me."

"Tony," Pepper whispers. "Stop blaming yourself. Christ, not everything is your fault."

After Vision attacks the shooter, Tony turns to Pepper and picks her up bridal style.

"Tony," she whimpers. "You can't just leave Vision here an-and get me - "

She cuts herself off by screaming when Tony shoots out of the building and drops her off by one of the police cars.

"You're important to me, Pepper. I won't let you die because of me, not from blood loss or infection."

He doesn't wait for her reply and takes off towards the area where more gunmen were.

Between him and Vision, the fight was over in roughly half an hour.

Cleaning up is relatively easy. Most of the damage being cosmetic. No one, save Pepper and another employee, were hurt. The employee was shot in the leg, but all SI employees have great insurance and so Tony didn't so much dwell on it. He knew they would be taken care of.

"Make sure she's alright and keep me updated on her status," Tony tells one of the paramedics.

After that, he heads for the hospital to see Pepper.

But not before stopping to pick up her favorite flowers; orange daisies.

"Hey," Tony says after he knocks on the door to Pepper's room. It's late into the evening. The sun already setting when the attack took place.

She's laying in the hospital bed pale but smiling, a tired smile, but a smile nonetheless. Rhodey is there too. And Happy. Both men are sitting on opposite sides of the bed.

"Hey, Tony," Pepper replies.

"Hey, man," Rhodey greets with his hand up.

"Hey, boss - I mean, Tony." 

They all laugh at the little slip-up.

"Old habits die hard," Tony jokes.

He then turns to Pepper and walks over to her own Rhodey's side and presses a kiss to her forehead while laying the flowers down in her lap.

"You can remember my favorite type of flowers, but can't remember that I'm allergic to strawberries," she jokes.

"It's progress, right?"

Tony sighs. "But in all seriousness, what's the damage?"

Pepper's face goes blank and it's silent.

"Hello?" Tony looks around, but no one is meeting his eyes.

"Rhodey? Happy?" 

Sighing, Pepper looks away.

"The wound will heal just fine, Tony."

"O...kay? What else is wrong?"

Still looking away, Pepper says, "James, please."

Exhaling, Rhodey shifts in his seat. Tony immediate turns to him.

"Rhodey?" Tony can feel something bubbling in his chest (panic? anxiety? fear?).

"Like Pepper said, the wound will heal. But when she was brought here, they decided to run more tests. She gave them permission, of course. Always so thorough. It turns out that...that..."

"That what?" Tony snaps.

"Pepper has a tumor on the left side of her brain."

Tony immediately takes a step back.

"W-what?" he chokes out.

Closing his eyes, he takes in a deep breath and releases it. He does this several times before opening his eyes again.

"Tony," Pepper whispers. "It's going to be okay. Doctor Xavier says it was caught just in time. There's a treatment for it. I'm going to be okay."

She reaches out a hand and Tony grabs it allowing her to draw him closer. 

"It's going to be okay. But I have to stay here. That means that you, or someone you trust, needs to run SI."

"I'll do it. I won't let your hard work go to waste, Pepper," Tony states determined.

With a smile, she squeezes his hand. "I know, Tony."

"Pep's a tough cookie to crack, Tones. She'll be better quicker than any of us will know.

Tony feels Rhodey pat his leg reassuringly. 

"Yup. She's a fighter."

"It's been awhile since we all got together," Pepper starts.

"Could be under better circumstances," mumbles Tony. 

Gently stroking the petals of one of the flowers, Pepper continues. "How have you been, Tony? Really? I mean, I know that you've been busy with the United Nations and tech upgrades and whatnot, but, you know, tell me...stuff."

"Stuff?" Happy laughs.

Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Happy squeeze Pepper's hand, her squeeze back, and both of them share a look. _The_ look. Huh.

"Yes," she laughs. "Stuff."

"Do you want the good or the bad? Tony asks honestly.

"Bad, first, please. I would like you to end on a good note," Pepper says, shifting slightly.

Tony moves away from the bed, crosses the small room and closes the door followed by the curtains and then turns back to look at all of them.

"Ross has been up my ass since Siberia."

And just like that, the temperature in the room drops several degrees.

"He's been harassing you?" Rhodey demands to know.

"Sort of? Kinda? He's mad about a lot of things, Rhodey. But Rogers and the others. I mean, I did put the man on hold when Rogers was breaking the others outta the Raft. He knows they're in Wakanda and he wants me to somehow get inside, get all of them, and get out undetected."

"That man is despicable," Pepper states.

"That's putting it nicely, Pep," Tony replies.

"Is that the only bad news?" Rhodey asks.

Tony looks at each of them, sees Pepper worried look, sees Rhodey understanding look, sees Happy's concerned look. His immediate family here with him. He smiles at the thought a little before shaking his head and walking closer. He wants to rant about his stress, but not now. Not just yet.

"Rhodey, you remember that Natasha stopped T'C - King T'Challa - from apprehending Rogers and Barnes, right?"

"Sure do, Tones. Still kinda annoyed by that, despite the time since then. What about it?"

"Well, before I went after Rogers and Barnes in Siberia, she and I - "

"The spat between you two and then she when AWOL?"

Tony nods. "Well, Ross sent Black ops after her to bring her in, dead or alive, and she showed in the tower a few weeks ago bloodied and bruised. Between King T'Challa and I, we got her out of the country and to Wakanda."

"Ross sent Black ops after - ," Rhodey pauses, shakes his head and then continues. "You know what? I'm not even surprised. Ross has been known to go great lengths in getting what he wants and after what went down between the Avengers, the US government more than likely backed him up."

"Right. So, she's there now. Giving Barton hell. She calls to check-in every now and then."

"Good," Pepper states. "I'm still not happy with what he said to you on the Raft, Tony. You didn't deserve that."

Tony smiles, eyes soft while looking at Pepper. "Thank you, Pep."

Pepper returns the smile, free hand stroking the petals of a flower.

"Is that the good news?" Happy asks. 

"Oh, Happy. I actually have more good news this time."

They all laugh.

"The other good news is, well, I've been seeing someone."

"Really?" Pepper shifts. "For how long? Do I know her?"

Tony looks at her and feels relieved. There's no anger or annoyance or sadness or disappointment. Just genuine curiosity and, dare he say it, happiness.

"You don't know him. I haven't introduced you to yet. Rhodey kind of knows him? Sort of?"

No one reacts negatively to the 'him' and Tony breathes out a sigh of relief. 

"Him?" Rhodes says while leaning back in his chair. "Is he in the military?"

"He's in charge of his own military?"

He sends Rhodey a knowing look, one that means 'Just think a little harder.'

It's silent and then - "No way."

All eyes snap towards Rhodey.

"James? Do you know the person?"

Looking straight at Tony, Rhodey merely says, "Your lover got a thing for cats?"

And just like that, Tony is laughing.

"I'm going to tell him that!" Tony manages to get out. "There are so many cat jokes, man."

He sees Rhodey smile a little bit as well as make out Pepper and Happy's confused expressions. 

"Do you know him?" Pepper asks again.

"Not on a personal level, no. But the whole world has seen his face."

"Well, then," Pepper says. "Who is it?"

"It's not nice to leave us in suspense," Happy adds.

Tony and Rhodey share a look of amusement.

"Go on," Rhodey says. "He's your boyfriend, lover, guy."

Smiling at Pepper, Tony shrugs. 

"Name the one person who is richer than me, Pep. Richer than anyone else in the world."

He smiles when her face takes on the expression of thinking and nearly falls over in glee when her eyes widen and her mouth opens in a small gasp.

"You mean to tell me that the man you are seeing is - is, oh my gosh - the King of Wakanda?!"

"Yes, but I just like to call him T'Challa or sugary sweet nicknames."

"It's he the guy who dresses up in the giant black cat suit?" Happy asks.

"The very one," Rhodey answers with a laugh.

"Man, I have, like, nine inappropriate jokes I wanna say." Happy replies.

"Oh, tell me later!" Tony demands.

The atmosphere in the room becomes steady.

"Does he treat you right, Tony?" Pepper asks.

"The best, I promise."

"Good. When do we get to meet him?"

"And when do I get to give him the shovel talk?" 

They all laugh at that.

"He's a king, Rhodey. He believes in respect and nobility and kindness and whatnot." 

"So? My best friend is dating a King."

"He's the Black Panther."

"And I'm War Machine."

"A bit overprotective?" Tony laughs.

"Absolutely," the other three say as one.

Tony in taken back by the readied reply.

"You mean a lot to use, Tony. We want the best for you." 

Pepper smiles and sniffs the daisies. 

"And I want the best for all of you."

For the first time, in a long time, Tony feels happy. 

"Hey, baby," Tony whispers sleepily at the hologram. 

He had been up for almost four days straight, surviving only off of coffee, before crashing real hard on the couch in his workshop. Tony kind of wishes he could sleep the week away.

"Did I wake you?" T'Challa asks.

Tony can see, vaguely, that T'Challa was in his room, in bed.

"Having a lazy day?" Tony asks, not answering the question.

"How long have you been asleep?" T'Challa elects to ignore Tony's attempt to drop it.

"I don't know. FRIDAY?" 

Tony calls out to the AI as he rolls onto his back. The hologram adjusts so Tony can just look straight up if he wanted too.

"Boss has been asleep for approximately two hours and 12 minutes."

"Hmm, and when did he last sleep?"

"Five days and - "

"Silence!" Tony snaps more awake.

"Go ahead. Say it. I know you want too," Tony says while looking straight at T'Challa's disapproving face.

But T'Challa says nothing. He just stares at Tony with disapproval and annoyance. Tony looks away when he recognizes the second emotion. Covering his eyes, he inhales and exhales for silently. He can feel his bones ache, his head hurt, and tiredness clings to his eyes.

"Five days is a long time," T'Challa finally says. "Why have you been up for five days, Tony?"

Eyes still covered, Tony answers, "It's...hard for me to sleep."

"Is it General Ross?"

Tony chuckles bitterly. "He's like 60 percent of why I can't sleep."

"What else?" It's said so gently that Tony cringes internally. 

"Did you catch the news a few days ago? Vision and I took out some gunmen, but Pepper and another employee got hurt. Both shot. Oh, and by the way, Pepper has a brain tumor. She says that the doctor says that it's treatable, but I still worry, ya know?" Tony sighed. "On top of nightmares, damage control, having a weak heart, almost always having a headache, and feeling tired all the damn time, I feel like I have to constantly glance over my shoulder."

"Are you safe?"

Tony is immediately hit with a sense of Deja Vu.

"Sure," is the only reply.

"Tony?" the way his name is said almost, _almost_ , makes Tony cut the call. 

"I don't want to talk about that."

"Tony - "

"I said I don't want to talk about that!" Tony snaps and turns away. It's practically a dismissal.

Silence.

"My apologies. Perhaps, I should call later?"

Silence.

"Good-bye, Tony."

"Bye," Tony whispers.

The call ends and Tony feels just as tired, but now much more miserable.

"FRIDAY?"

"Yes, Boss?"

"Do...do you think I'm a bad person?"

"No, Boss. I do not think you are a bad person."

Tony chuckles bitterly. 

"I made you. Of course, you'd say that."

"You programmed me to assess more than just numbers. I can assess people as well, Boss. And so I repeat; no, I do not think you are a bad person."

Tony smiles little. "Thanks, FRIDAY."

"You're welcome. Please rest some more."

"Wake me up in four hours, okay? I promised Peter I look over his science fair project."

"Of course, Boss."

Tony's time spent with Peter was nice. 

He thinks of another kid, older now, that he met a few years ago.

He thinks Peter and this other kid will get along.

He thinks, just maybe, he'll introduce the two sometime.

 

Then he goes back to work.

Tony keeps working, but he doesn't know what he's creating anymore.

He doesn't know when to step back even though he should.

He keeps working...

For hours?

Days?

Weeks?

Ignoring everyone.

Anyone.

And then everything goes black.

 

_Tony!_

_Oh my god, Tony!_

Tony twitched.

_Tony, wake up!_

Groaning, Tony tried to roll over but a searing pain shoots up his side.

_FRIDAY, call an ambulance!_

_The hospital has been notified. ETA three minutes._

Tony whimpers.

_Tony!_

_Tony!_

Tony can't open his eyes.

_TONY!_

The sound of beeping pulls Tony from his sleep. That, and hushed voices too low for him to make out any real words. Groaning, Tony tries to shift but finds himself unable to move more than just his fingers. Eyes still closed, he tries to form words but nothing comes out beside a strong cough and that fact that he can't breathe.

Suddenly, two sets of hands are lifting him up and sounds cold is pressed to his mouth.

_Water_ , he thinks and takes a much down as he can without choking.

"Easy, Tony. Just take it easy."

Tony isn't sure, but he thinks that's Rhodey. And he knows for a fact that he's in a hospital room.

"Tony, can you open your eyes?"

That's Pepper.

"Come on, Tony."

And there's Happy.

Tony would laugh if he weren't in so much pain and his head didn't hurt and he didn't feel sick to his stomach.

"Tony, can you open your eyes?" Pepper repeats.

He feels a cool hand stroke his brow and he relaxes, just a bit. Making an attempt to open his eyes, Tony immediately regrets it. With a whimper, he pulls away from whoever is holding him up and tries to curl back into the bed he's in.

"Open the window and turn off the lights," Rhodey commands.

Tony can faintly make out people moving but damn do his eyes hurt. And his head is pounding.

"It's okay, Tony. Take your time." Pepper whispers.

Tony can feel her fingernails weave into his hair and alternate between scratching his scalp or just running her fingers through his hair. 

"P-Pepper?" Tony chokes out. "Rho-odey? And Hap?"

"We're here, Tony," Pepper replies. 

"You scared the hell out of us," Happy says.

Tony can't see it, but he can just picture Happy's disapproving face.

"What were you thinking, Tones?" Rhodey asks. "FRIDAY says you've been running yourself rampant for weeks, you've been ignoring her suggestions to sleep or eat or take a goddamn break, and you snap at your boyfriend? Tony, what has been going on?"

Tony mumbles something akin to "want to die" while firmly keeping his eyes closed.

"W-what was that?" Pepper asks. 

The silence that followers her stutter even makes Tony feel uneasy.

"How can you say that, Tony?"

Still Pepper.

"It's the truth."

"That's not something to joke about!" Pepper cries out.

The sound knocks around in Tony's head before he finally, finally, opens his eyes as slow as possible. He regrets it when his eyes focus and he sees three unhappy and sad faces.

"Tony, why would you s-say that?"

At that, Tony laughs bitterly.

"Because I keep messing up? Because I can't keep people safe? Because - "

"It's not your job to protect anyone," a voice interrupts. 

All eyes turn to the door to see T'Challa stand there, expression grim and eyes full of worry and sadness.

"You have only ever been a consultant, not an active duty member of the Avengers. When you go out to help, you do it of your own free will. You are not paid to do it, you are not required to do it, and no one should be forcing you to do it."

"They expect me too and I want too," Tony manages.

He hasn't seen or spoken to T'Challa since that short phone call a few weeks ago.

"That may be the case, but you have the right to choose."

The words take Tony back to a year and a half ago, to when the Avengers were more than just himself and Vision, to when Rhodey could walk without aid, to when everyone was relatively getting along.

"It's different," Tony says.

"How so?" T'Challa asks as he enters the room.

Almost immediately, he is greeted with respect by the other three. Nodding his head at them, he walks over to Tony's side and sits down.

"Doesn't matter," Tony says finally. "I keep messing up. I keep letting people down."

"You're a hero, Tony," T'Challa begins. "To so many people. They look up to you and see a man who can do spectacular things. They see a man who will do his best to make up for his mistakes. They see a man who puts others before himself. You're their hero, Tony, and you are mine."

"And mine," Pepper says.

"Mine too," Happy states.

"And mine, Tones. Always," Rhodey confirms.

Tony tries to control it, but he can't help the tears that make their way down his face. He tries to breathe and out, but the only sound coming out is a sob. It's heartbreaking and Tony hates, hates to cry in front of anyone.

"I'm s-so so-orry," he chokes out through a sob. 

"You are done apologizing, Tony. You are done."

The others in the room, besides Tony, are taken back by T'Challa firm and final tone.

"You have apologized enough, too much," T'Challa says in a softer tone.

And Tony...he just cries.

And cries.

And cries.

Until he falls asleep.

Waking up is one of Tony's least favorite things to do, especially after working long periods with little to no breaks.

"Come on, Tony. Open your eyes."

Eyes slowly opening, Tony immediately realizes he's still in the hospital.

"God damn it. Fucking hospital."

"You wouldn't be here if you'd rest," a voice speaks from his left.

Tony turns a sees Rhodey sitting there.

"By the way, I like your boyfriend. Best person you could be with besides Pepper."

Ignores the first statement in favor of wondering where the others are.

"W-where is everyone?"

"Pepper stepped out to take a call. Happy left not too long ago to grab you something to eat. And King T'Challa is sitting on the other side of you upset that you didn't face him. My apologies, Your Highness."

It's said in a sort of joking manner as Tony turns his head to the other side and sees T'Challa sitting there with both of his hands holding on to Tony's hand.

"Hey," Tony whispers. "I'm sorry - "

"Can I kiss you?" T'Challa interrupts. 

"I, uh, yes?" Tony says.

T'Challa immediately leans forward and kisses Tony. It's gentle, exploring, almost...apologizing.

"I'm so sorry, Tony," T'Challa says after he pulls away. "I'm so sorry for not being here when you needed me, for not making time for you when I should have, for not calling as often as I promised."

"The fault doesn't just fall on you, Your Highness. I'm sorry, too, Tony. For not being there when you needed me, for not realizing how much you were going through, for not realizing how miserable you are."

"It's n-not," Tony stammers. "Your not - I don't blame - It's fine!"

"No, it's not," Pepper and Happy say in unison as the entered the hospital room together.

"You blame yourself, you overwork yourself, you struggle, you try so hard, you do so much and you're not appreciated. Not by the people who matter most to you and who you matter most to them. And for that, Tony, we're sorry."

Tony looks at all of them closely. Pepper looks like she's about to cry, Happy isn't meeting his eyes, Rhodey's expression is full of guilt, and T'Challa's twice as much.

"Pepper, you've been the CEO of Stark Industries for years now and not my PA. My problems aren't yours. Happy, you don't work for me anyome. My problems aren't yours. Rhodey, you're in the military and you've been healing. My problems aren't yours. T'Challa, you are the fucking King of Wakanda. My problem's aren't yours. When will you guys understand that?"

"I want you to share your burdens with me," T'Challa says immediately. "I want you to tell me when you're struggling. I want you to communicate with me. I don't want you to push me away or Coronel Rhodes or Ms. Potts or Mr. Hogan away. We want to help you, Tony, because we care."

"I wish you didn't sometimes."

"Whether you wish it or not, we do," Rhodey says firmly. "We love you, Tony. Don't you know? We love you so damn much. We love you differently, but we still love you."

"I love all of you, too," Tony whispers.

Pepper walks over, around Rhodey, and bends down to kiss Tony's forehead.

"I still have a few weeks before I turn the CEO position back over to you. I want you to go on vacation, do you hear me?"

"What?" Tony blinks.

"Get the hell out of this hospital room and go relax, Tony!" Rhodey says. "Doctor says you fainted from exhaustion. You need a break. You need to rest."

"Go back to Italy," Happy suggests. "Pepper tells me you, ah, had some fun~"

"You're on a firstname bases with Pepper?" Tony jokes a little.

"That's a story for another time. Happy's driving me back to SI. We'll see you later, Tony. Or, maybe not. Let me know if you're skipping town for a bit." Pepper walks back to the door. "Rhodey. Your Highness. Good-bye, Tony."

Happy waves at them and then it's only Tony, Rhodey, and T'Challa in the room.

"Right. So, Your Highness. I need to tell you a few things," Rhodey turns away from Tony and looks directly at T'Challa with a determined face. 

"Rhodey, you're not - "

"Hush, Tones. Anyways, Your Highness, Tony Stark is my absolute best friend. I've known him since we both were at MIT together. That's over 20 years ago. We've been best friends for over 20 years. My parents practically adopted him when he was just 15-years-old when his own family wasn't around much, save for his mother and caretaker, Jarvis. I would do anything to keep him happy, even go against the US military. He's been through hell and back and then some. He goes out of his way to protect people, even at the cost of himself. You have to take his the way his is, with all his faults and all the good things about him. Can I trust you to make him happy? To respect him? To love him? I need to know because I, frankly, don't care what your status is. I won't let anyone hurt Tony, crippled or not. I can still pack a god damn punch."

T'Challa's face remains blank for a moment before a small smile appears on his face.

"You have my word, Colonel Rhodes."

"It's James or Rhodey. Welcome to our dysfunctional family," Rhodey moves forward and offers his hand to which T'Challa takes and they shake over Tony's bed. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to leave to make it to my next appointment."

He gets up slowly and leans forward to ruffle Tony's curly mess of hair. "Call me some time later, okay?"

Tony nods. "Yeah. Okay. I can do that."

Rhodey rolls his eyes.

"Please make sure he calls me some time later," and with that, he walks out of the hospital room and throws a little wave over his shoulder.

"How long..." Tony trails off when T'Challa gets up, shuts the hospital door, locks it, and closes all the curtains.

He turns back to Tony and sits next to his chair, taking his hand and kissing the back of it.

"I often dream of our time together in Italy," T'Challa murmurs. "And of our first kiss."

"Me too," Tony whispers back.

"I would like to take you back to Italy if you'll allow me."

"T'Challa," Tony starts, looking away. "What about your kingdom? You shouldn't be pushing your duties off for me."

"Look at me," T'Challa demands softly.

Tony looks at him, not realizing how close he was, and waits.

"I want to be with you. I love you," T'Challs says. "Wherever you go, whatever you decide, just know that I love you. I will never force you to do anything you don't want to do. My sister is fully capable of watching over our lands while I'm away. I merely wish to be here, with you, if you'll have me?"

Tony smiles. "Of course. That's why you're one of my favorites."

T'Challa smiles and, at once, they both lean in. As their lips connect, Tony feels a weight lift off his shoulders. It's a soothing kiss, a 'I am here for you' kiss, a 'you are safe now' kiss, the best kind of kiss.

"Take me home? Then we can, uh, discuss plans."

"It would be my pleasure."

Later that night, when Tony is curled up against T'Challa in their bed, T'Challa running his fingers through Tony's hair, Tony thinks this is fine. He's fine

He's fine.

Rhodey's fine.

Pepper's fine.

Happy's fine.

T'Challa's fine.

They are all fine.

They will all be okay.

"I love you," Tony whispers through a sleepy yawn.

"I love you, too," T'Challa whispers back.

Tony is out like a light moments later and T'Challa watches over him until sleep, too, claims him.

**Author's Note:**

> *Started June 25th, Finished June 28th!  
> *Forgive me if there are spelling errors.  
> *Forgive me for taking months to upload this.  
> *Come say hello on Tumblr: ich-bin-ein-stern  
> *The story ends with it being one year and six months since the fight in Siberia.  
> I hope you guys liked part two! Please look forward to part three!


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